Strengths
I think I described well as it gave understanding of reader in my ordinary world. I tried to describe what personailty did I have and what kinds of person I was. I think readers could be imagin my ordinary world. Also I tried to describe an opportunity which makes it an occasion to change direction, and I found the connection between HERO journal and my life.
Weekneeses
I think I should improve connection between writing and ideas. And I need to work on attention of readers, what I want to say and what I learned.
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